you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
