Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
