I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
