break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
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