he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
and she was petting her beer can
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
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it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
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Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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