BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
