Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I'm really busy with my period
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