Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
