How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize