hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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