the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize