I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
This toilet bowl is my home.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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