Small penises have feelings too.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
