Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
