I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize