Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
