I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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