Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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