i was rollin on her like bob the builder
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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