I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
