I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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