We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Well I just put wine in my tea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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