I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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