hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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