My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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