On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize