one word: firstdatebathroomanal
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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