I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
