So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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