so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
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