she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
