I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
