Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
