So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
