We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
