Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
he's gonorrhea incarnate
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
