I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
