she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
