The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
