Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
