When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
