I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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