He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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