Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
i think im in europe. pls send help
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Dick very happy bro
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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