You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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