she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Randomize
