But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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