Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
