do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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