You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
