**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
The feeling are messing with the penis
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
