All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
