just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
