You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
