i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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