she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
be right there i have to get my cape
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
