I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
