some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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